


locking your heaven away

by closingdoors



Series: Pepperony Week 2018 [3]
Category: Iron Man (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Jealousy, Pepperony Week, Pepperony week 2018, Pre-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Tony Stark Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-07
Updated: 2018-08-07
Packaged: 2019-06-23 13:51:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15607662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/closingdoors/pseuds/closingdoors
Summary: "So, when he shows his face at the charity event she’d signed them both up for before she’d left him, and finds her dancing with another man, he is flooded with jealousy, followed quickly by guilt."or, prompt three: jealousy





	locking your heaven away

**Author's Note:**

> Oh, what a waste, I’ll be locked in your heaven, always  
> Oh, what a way to be living with all of your pain  
> Oh, what a way to be locking your heaven away  
> Oh, what a wave you have made.
> 
> \- Colourway, Novo Amor
> 
> Takes place during Tony and Pepper's "break", before the events of Civil War.

**** The problem with being  _ on a break  _ is that he doesn’t understand the rules. Are they together, or aren’t they? Is their recoupling going to be definite, or is there still potential for the break to become permanent? Are they still committed to each other, or open to see other people? The questions roll around on loop in his head every moment he spends alone. He never comes up with any answers.

So, when he shows his face at the charity event she’d signed them both up for  _ before  _ she’d left him, and finds her dancing with another man, he is flooded with jealousy, followed quickly by guilt.

The jealousy is easy. It’s hot and flows through his veins until his entire body is fierce with it. His grip on the whiskey tumbler tightens. He wonders how quickly he could get a suit here. How quickly he could rip the hand from Pepper’s waist.

Then - guilt. She’s allowed to be happy, allowed to socialise, and he shouldn’t be thinking about making a scene. 

He just doesn’t know if this is allowed or not.

Tony leans against the bar and watches. The dress she’s wearing is beautiful. Long, flaring out around her feet, fading from white to a light pink. It brings out the red of her hair. 

Sometimes, he thinks that’s the thing that sticks with him most. When he wakes and find the bedsheets empty, white and plain, no splash of colour. He thinks of that flash of orange. That ferocity, that spark that he associated with it. It’s a small thing. It still feels like a sucker punch all the same. 

As the song comes to an end, the man drops Pepper’s hand, but the hand he’d had on her waist slips to the small of her back as he guides her to the other end of the bar. Tony downs the last of his whiskey, orders another, and even as his mind screams  _ leave her, don’t make a scene, she’ll hate you forever  _ he finds his feet carrying him over to them anyway.

The man is just handing Pepper a glass of white wine when Tony appears beside them. The man cocks his head, and Tony can tell by the look on his face that he knows who he is, but his attention is devoted to Pepper, whose eyes bug wide at the sight of him. He knows - she hadn’t expected to see him here tonight. It’s not the kind of thing he’d agree to go to, only with her by his side would he ever show his face, but it’s exactly why he’s showed up tonight. She’s cancelled every other public appearance they have together. It’s the first time he’s seen her since she’d said  _ I love you  _ and  _ I can’t stay  _ and left him in a house too big for one person.

“Tony,” she breathes, setting the white wine back on the bar instantly.

“Pepper,” he returns. He gives her a very obvious once over. “You look beautiful.” 

Pepper flushes, her gaze flickering between the two men. “Thank you. Do you know Brad?”

_ Of course his name is Brad,  _ he thinks. “I don’t.”

Brad, with a smarmy grin, holds his hand out. “I work in Legal.” 

_ Of course you do _ , Tony thinks, and doesn’t shake his hand.

Pepper clears her throat. “He’s actually been helping me with some of the contracts we’ve been drawing up with the Stark cancer trust.” 

_ Of course you have,  _ Tony thinks, and Brad drops his offered hand.

“I’ve actually got to talk to Bill from Accounting,” Brad says. He reaches over and  _ squeezes Pepper’s hand.  _ “I’ll see you later.”

“Sure,” Pepper says, averting her eyes to the bar.

Brad leaves, and Tony thinks of the one hundred and fifty-seven ways he knows to kill a man without his suit. He could probably get away with it, too. Legally. He’s smart enough to cover his tracks. But - Pepper would know. So, maybe put that idea on the back burner for now.

“What are you doing here, Tony?”

He leans by Pepper’s side on the bar, placing his tumbler beside her glass of wine. 

“Since when do you drink wine?”   


“I was being polite.”

“Oh, I saw.”

Pepper reddens. The shade is delightful. 

“What is that supposed to mean?” 

“You know exactly what it means.” 

Pepper rubs a one hand against the knot forming between her brows. Tony irrationally finds himself wondering if she lets  _ Brad  _ touch her there. Maybe that’s why she’d wanted a break. So that she could see other people - see how foolish she’d been to have wasted her time on him when she could be with other men. Not that he thinks he can blame her, he’s a mess, but he’s pretty certain she’s the love of his life, which is a sentimental thing to think, but it’s true and he can’t help needing her.

“He’s a friend. We’ve been working together for years.”

“You never dance with  _ friends  _ at these kind of events.”

“How would you know? You never even go to them,” she counters, rolling her eyes.

“I know  _ you,”  _ he implores. When she doesn’t reply, he continues. “You’re nothing but professional with everyone you work with. You wouldn’t even let me buy you a birthday present until you’d been working for me for six years.”

“Not like you’d remember my birthday,” she mumbles.

“February nineteenth.”

“You only remember that because of Af - “ 

Pepper stops. 

“Maybe,” he concedes. “But it’s also why I know that’s why you don’t like to celebrate.”

God, he’s ruined her life in so many ways, hasn’t he? She can’t even celebrate her damn  _ birthday.  _ Maybe he should let go. Let her lead her life, effervescent as she would be when he’s not busy dampening her light. Let her see other people…

But his chest roars at the thought. No - no, he can’t let go.

“ _ Brad  _ wants you, you know,” he spits the name.

There’s a beat and then, softly, she says: “I know.”

Tony sets his jaw and doesn’t look at her. He rests a hand on the bar, sliding the other one into the pockets of his pants.

“So are you… are you two… seeing each other?” 

He’s already planning how he’ll lure Brad away if she says  _ yes.  _

“What? God, no. Tony, why would you say that?”

“You seemed pretty friendly.”

“I’d never do that to you.” 

The problem is… he knows that’s true. As little as he understands the terms of their break, he knows that she would never betray him, he knows that no matter what happens between them she will always be, at the very least, loyal to a T. And this is a problem, because he’s ruined her for anyone else, he knows he has. They’ve been so interwoven that he’s seeped into every pore of her life, just as she has his, and they’ll both allow themselves to suffer instead of being the one to rip the band aid off and start fresh.

Across the room, he sees Brad place a hand on a rotund man’s shoulder, forcing laughter. Brad’s eyes trail oer the man’s shoulder and settle on Pepper.

Tony finally looks at Pepper. “You wanna get out of here?” 

Pepper frowns. “What?”

“You and me. Anywhere. We can just - drive. Or get some food. Go to the beach. Whatever you want.” 

Pepper’s frown softens into something too much like pity. He swallows the bitter taste in his mouth. He’s never wanted her pity. He’s never wanted anyone’s pity. And now he’s  _ angry,  _ because she’s all smiles and polite around a man who wants her in his bed but looks at him like a charity case for asking for a slice of her time.

“Tony, we can’t…”

Tony sniffs. “Whatever. Enjoy your time with  _ Brad.” _

Tony grabs his tumbler, downs the whiskey, and slams the glass back against the bar. He hears the way the bottom of it shatters, but turns away, even after Pepper calls him. He leaves the room with his head down, avoiding those that call his name. Probably just trying to rub it in his face that his girl - or, his ex, as he’s hesitated to call her - has been laughing and dancing with another man at the places she used to drag him to. All in front of hundreds of eye witnesses and more than four dozen photographers.

“Tony!”

He keeps walking.

“Stop being ridiculous for  _ one minute _ .”

He feels her hand curl around his elbow, stopping him. They’re in the empty foyer, staring at each other. Her chest heaves. Flyaways have escaped her ponytail. She must’ve run after him.

“I’m not being  _ ridiculous _ ,” he protests.

“You are being stupidly jealous over nothing and it’s  _ embarrassing _ .” 

“Over nothing?” Tony echoes. “Pep, you just admitted that you know the guy wants you!”

Pepper glances around. “Will you be quiet?”

“No, I won’t be quiet,” he snaps, “I won’t pretend like this is okay. How would you feel if you’d walked in and found me dancing with some other girl?”

“I watched you do more than that for years!” Pepper yells, waving her arms by her sides. “And you’re more than welcome to do so - “

“I don’t want to dance with anyone but you.”

Pepper closes her eyes and sighs. “I know.”

He can’t help it. Between her pity and her frustration he is desperate to prove to her that he’s worth more. He takes two steps towards her and kisses her fiercely.

Pepper startles at first, a pleasant little  _ mhm  _ sound muffled against his lips. But she doesn’t pull away. She leans into the kiss after a moment of hesitation, softening his clashing teeth and desperate tongue. 

When she does pull away, her eyes are a little glazed over, and she bites her lower lip. He wants to say  _ I love you,  _ but settles on resting his forehead against hers, and then she threads her fingers through his and leads him towards the elevator.

 

 

*

 

 

There are advantages to the fundraiser being held in a hotel, he decides after. When the room is silent, and she’s fussing over hanging her dress up, since it’s been left in a crumpled heap on the floor for the past two hours. His skin is still cooling, sweat-covered, and at least a dozen hickeys forming on both of their bodies.

There’s the sound of the fabric rustling, her small sounds of assent, and finally her feet padding over so that she can join him back in bed. 

It may only be temporary, but these, he decides, are his favourite sounds.


End file.
